First Trimester

As I’m coming to the end of the second trimester, I’ve been reflecting on my pregnancy journey so far, and realising what a whirlwind it has been!

It’s pretty incredible the journey we’ve been on in just the last 6 months, and I’m not sure that anything could have really prepared us for it!

However, as I like to be prepared where possible, I thought I would make a note of how I found the first trimester whilst it was still fresh in my mind and before baby brain takes over, in the hope that it may help someone else just starting this journey (no one in particular in mind!) or even for my future self if I get the opportunity to do this journey again.

1. All of the emotions

They all have their turn! From the initial shock and surprise, with the overwhelming joy and happiness, you still have the fear and anxiety of everything which is now to come, and this journey which is started, which you started, and now cant stop – not that you’d want to – or would you? Oh yeah, that’s self doubt popping up to join the party!

So, the first thing which I think is important, is allow yourself those feelings, and know that they are all totally normal, whatever your situation. I imagine that everyone has some degree of mild panic realising it’s really happening now, no matter how prepared for it you thought you would be!

We were not using contraception because we knew we wanted to start a family, however it was still a shock to see those 2 pink lines show up, so I cant imagine if it was unplanned!

In hindsight, even though we ‘planned’ for pregnancy, in the sense that we weren’t using contraception and I was taking pre-conception vitamins, we we’re not by any stretch of the imagination actually prepared for being pregnant!

Oh, and you will cry for absolutely no reason, you won’t even know why, it just happens sometimes!

2. Rules rules rules

• No more drinking
• No more smoking
• No more parties (see previous post on these first 3!)
• No vaping
• No more fancy steak dinners out, or pate, or soft cheese
• No more only thinking about yourself
• Most importantly of all though, the thing I really wish I had realised …. All of the above only apply to you!

I am lucky enough to have a super supportive partner, who instantly stopped smoking with me, and for the first few days even managed not to have a drink! However, 8 months is a long time, and your partner isn’t growing another human inside them, so it’s easy for them to forget all the things you can’t do, because they still can, and therefore, understandably, will! After all, you would if you could.

Now, if you were a fairly healthy couple before, the point above likely doesn’t apply to you, and I hope that second time round it wont so much for us, but certainly this first time, it was a lot to come to terms with for both of us.

We went from being 2 Peas in a Pod, where we literally did everything together, to suddenly having to totally different sets of rules to follow, and totally not on the same level. We always just ‘got’ each other, but suddenly he didn’t get ‘it’ anymore – we were on different pages, and we’d never had that to deal with before. So honestly, couple being not allowed to do loads of stuff that you quite liked doing before, with crazy pregnancy hormones, and all the feelings and emotions, it can equal a very rocky road for the first couple of months!

3. Google is NOT your friend

Again, I have another post about the fear – but I want to highlight that google will not help put your mind at rest for any of your anxieties! You will just end up wasting hours searching for answers which the internet just can’t give you. What will be will be – you have to trust in your body.

If I could go back an put a restriction on my phone I would have done. The first few weeks are hard, it’s your little secret and you have a million questions and worries and you need someone to tell you it will all be okay – my advise here is talk to your partner, it will help with the previously mentioned problem of not being on the same page, and help them to help you, you have to talk to them about your concerns so that they can support you. Also, talk to your bestie / sister / mum – whoever your close to who has been through this, or even not, but someone close to you will always have better advise than internet strangers.

4. Make the most of feeling sexy

You will feel fat, but you are not – yet! Save that breakdown for the second trimester! For now, make the most of not being as big as you will be. If you’re one of the lucky ones then your boobs will get bigger before your belly, honestly, make the most of it! Feel sexy, dress sexy, just enjoy that you can be sexy! You will MISS that further down the line, it’s very hard to feel sexy with a massive baby bump (for me it is anyway! I’m sure there are people who do feel just as sexy or even more when pregnant, so this advice is for just in case you are like me)

5. It’s bloat not bump

I know, you’re excited to have a baby bump, I was too, but sorry to break it to you, at 8 weeks pregnant baby is still only the size of an olive, which is pretty tiny! Although your uterus is bigger than that, by week 8 about the size of a grapefruit. Some people will naturally show earlier, and also if it is your second baby you will likely show quicker, but generally the bump you have in the early weeks is more because you are bloated. If you’re like me, you’ll be twice the size by the evening as when you wake up! It’s like I inflated slowly over the course of the day!

Your digestion slows down so that your body has more time to absorb all the goodness from your food, so this can lead to constipation and bloating (trust me, pregnancy doesn’t get much more glamours from this point, just to set the bar!)

If you suffer from the effects of this, aka, constipation, then I found eating more fibre and having fresh juice helped, err, get things moving again.

6. Don’t be too organised

This is not something I would have EVER thought I would advice! I am known as ‘the Monica’ compared to my besties much more ‘Rachael’ attitude towards organisation! So, don’t do what I did and try to plan everything right away – it’s defo not possible. I wanted to think about EVERYTHING right away. What if this, what if that. There really was no need! I was excited though, and I enjoyed it, but in hindsight you have plenty of time – 7/8 months is still a long time, depending on when you find out, so defo no need to panic.

Personally, we didn’t buy anything baby related until after the 12 week scan, but I know others can’t wait and want to get bits early, which I totally understand. I’d just say don’t go mad early on. Also, if you find end up finding out the sex it can be nicer to buy gender specific items (if that’s your preference).

Anyway, on baby stuff i think it’s very much each to their own, however I would defiantly recommend you don’t buy maternity clothes yet!

Next had one of their amazing sales on so I thought I was being sensible snapping up some bargains early, however I really had no idea when I was going to need maternity clothes by, and I think it is different for everyone. For me, I didn’t really need maternity jeans until week 18, and even now at 27 weeks its only been the last 1 or 2 weeks when I have started wearing the other maternity clothes, up to then my normal tops were still fine.

Now I feel like i have far more clothes than I will possibly need just for the next couple of months! and some of them are no longer the right season or style, and also body has changed so some don’t fit. In some brands I fit my pre-pregnancy size in maternity clothes, from other places I need to size up – I did not know that at 8 weeks pregnant when I bought them! So hopefully you can learn from my mistake here.

7. You will be tired

So get lots of rest, and don’t feel guilty for it. Some nights I crawled into bed by 8pm because after a busy day at work and growing a human, I was shattered! Don’t try to make yourself stay up or wait an extra half an hour, go enjoy that half an hour. And if you need to nap at the weekend, make the most of having the perfect excuse! Just think, the better rested you are, the better job you can do at making your baby.

8. Basic beige food

People always talk about cravings, but I had more aversions than cravings. and not an aversion to a specific thing, just i didn’t really fancy most things. Part of that is to do with the nausea, and apparently, I have learnt, part of it is to do with your body wanting ‘Safe’ foods, which have less chance of having bad bacteria or bugs, to protect your growing baby from harm, smart really! So, it might be get down the shop and stock up on Cheerios and Shreddies now!

9. Symptoms

Not everyone has the same. I worried loads because I didn’t have many, and (as per my sisters advice, who had the same with her pregnancy) I should have made the most of it!

It honestly doesn’t say anything about what degree of pregnant you are or how strong your pregnancy is, you just either are or aren’t pregnant, and your body will deal with it differently to anyone elses. By all accounts, every pregnancy is totally different even with the same person, so your second or third time could be totally different to the first as well – basically our body likes to keep us guessing!

I had mild symptoms, and in a way it was disappointing because i wanted to really feel pregnant, however after seeing some of the posts from the due date groups i joined, I really am thankful i didn’t go through what some women seemed to.

I did also have some spells of symptoms, for instance there was about 2 weeks where I had bad insomnia and just couldn’t sleep, but then I seemed to go back to normal. I have days of awful heartburn, and days of being totally fine, so you just have to learn to go with the flow.

10. Enjoy sleeping on your front

Sleep related tips deserved to be called out twice! So another one to highlight again – you really should make sure you enjoy sleeping whenever you can! I think everyone goes through stages of not being able to – there will be a lot on your mind! And if it’s not your brain in overdrive keeping you awake, it might be nausea, acid indigestion, your growing bump, backache or baby kicks which are keeping you up at night – I’ve experienced all of these so far! So whenever you can, enjoy your sleep!

Also, if you are someone who sleeps on their front, then make the most of being able to do that still if you are early enough to. I am still sleeping on my front, just, at 27 weeks – but it’s certainly not as comfortable as it was before, and it takes some creative propping up with an array of pillows and wedges!

I think 10 tips is enough for now, before I write an essay! Looking back I would see the first trimester as an adjustment period. Where you are trying to figure out how your body is being effected, and learning to deal with whatever it’s deciding to throw at you from week to week. I think it’s about learning to be out of control! I’m starting to wonder if i’ll ever feel in control again, but i’m much more okay with it than I would have been before.

How about you guys? Are you in your first trimester, or have been through preganncy before? How are you finding it / how did you cope, and do you have any other advice or top tips? Let us know below!

Love and peas,

Danni 🤰🏻

xxx