Are hard! Although I’m glad we found out early, as I still had lifestyle changes I needed to make for pregnancy, so was able to do that sooner rather than later, there were downsides.
Mainly, the fear! But also the anxiety and general non-stop worrying.
- What if something’s wrong?
- Is it normal to feel that?
- Should I have more symptoms?
- Is that a normal symptom?
- Shouldn’t I feel different?
- How do I know if it’s going okay?
- What if it’s not?
- Should I be doing more?
You can drive yourself crazy! I nearly did. I was so distracted at work, I found myself on google more and more of the time, looking for some way of knowing if everything was okay. Dreading every time I needed the bathroom, always expecting to see blood, and getting a tiny bit of relieve from the anxiety every time there wasn’t.
Until the time there was.
Queue, pure panic! As you can imagine, but hopefully don’t have to go through yourself! At coming up to 10 weeks, one Monday lunchtime, I had spotting, and never has my heart sank so much, so hard, so quick. I managed to get down to my car without anyone seeing the state I was in and made a phone call to the early pregnancy unit. Luckily because we’d already been referred for the previous early scan we didn’t need to go via a GP, so we were booked in for a scan first thing the next morning.
Enter a day of more stress, more anxiety, more googling than I’d done in all the prior weeks combined. Well, maybe not quite that much! The thing is, I realised I could always find evidence and posts telling me everything would be fine, and I could find just as many telling me the worst case scenario I feared was more likely. There was no straight answer from dr google, I could have convinced myself either way.
As I sat at home crying and thinking the worst, I started to realise, that if the worst was going to happen, no amount of google or worrying I could have done in the previous few weeks or now would change this or stop it happening, whatever it was which was happening.
That, was my lightbulb moment which changed the rest of my pregnancy.
I wish I had seen this sooner! But hopefully I can help you avoid the worry pit I fell into, and you can enjoy your pregnancy to the full. Not that I didn’t enjoy being pregnant up until 10 weeks, it’s just I enjoyed it a lot more after I learnt to ignore the fear.
A HapPea Pregnancy Pointer
Your baby is here now. Whether it’s 4 weeks or 4 months, you have them with you, inside you, with all the possibilities which come with that. Don’t allow fear and anxiety to ruin your time with your baby. If something happens next week, and this was all the time you had with them, you would regret having not spent every precious moment celebrating them and being happy and grateful.
I won’t tell you everything will be fine, the reality is we know it might not be. There are a million and 1 things which could go wrong now, next month, next year! But how bloody miserable will that time be if you are constantly thinking the worst? How about, having confidence and thinking the best?
It won’t change the outcome either way, but it will make the whole experience much more enjoyable, either way. And if, IF, you do have bad news, then deal with it when it comes, when you know what ‘it’ is, rather than trying to take it all on when it doesn’t even exist yet. What does exist, is your baby. And they deserve a happy, healthy mum, especially mentally healthy.
10 week Scan
I was lucky, and count my blessings every day that I got good news at my scan the next day. The few moments whilst the sonographer turned the screen away from us and checked herself first for signs of life, were possibly the longest seconds of my life. The moment she turned the screen back for us to see the little flickering heartbeat relief flooded in in an overwhelming way I’ve never felt before.
Baby Pea was even looking more baby like now! Amazing the difference just a few weeks can make, he even gave us a thumbs up to let us know he was doing just fine!
So, my advise for you is enjoy your pregnancy. Every previous moment. It is all just as real, and counts just as much, and your baby deserves to feel your love and happiness, not your fear and worry. Save that for if you need it, but until then, let the thoughts pass like clouds. The thoughts will come, you can’t ever stop that! It’s learning to let them float by that counts, don’t dwell on them. Outnumber them with all the positive thoughts, the alternative outcomes where everything is perfect as planned. Use law of attraction and think yourself happy ☺️
I followed this moto since week 10, and although plenty of worries still drift into my mind at various times, I quickly add several positive counter-thoughts to the mix, and suddenly the scale tips. Now I have gone from my pregnancy being a constant source of worry, to a constant source of joy, just as it should be.
Love and peas,
Danni 🤰🏻
xxx
HapPea Family Blog 